another crappy day. i try to get things off my mind, but its just no use. i want to tell her i miss her company, but if i do it will make me look desperate and needy. i want to be able to look into her eyes again, just stare and get lost in the most beautiful blue eyes ive ever seen. i miss holding her hand, and just being in her presence. i know i sound totally pathetic, and if shes reading this she will just think im an idiot. i know i do. but i cant help feeling like this. its everything about her, even the things she thinks are wrong with her. i can personally say there is nothing wrong with her, she is perfect, too good for me anyway.

i fucked things up by being to stupid to even say hello around one of her close friends. i dont dislike him, it would just have been weird for the first time. im pretty sure he thinks im not the one for her, and i hope thats not what her decision is based on. i see him and wish i was him, just so i could be so close to the one i adore so much.

here i go again, goin on about a girl. but i cant help myself. shes all i think about, so shes prety much all i can blog about. i guess i can say how much i love my friends aswell. i know a few of them have personally helped me out, even though theres shit going on with them aswell. i hate naming people in blogs, but you know who you are.

my hair is straight for the first time ever. i let K give it a go with the straightener, guess i needed a change from myself. some people say it looks good, but i think it looks pretty stupid. i guess it suits me then.

i guess i cant really say much else, without talking about the one that got away. the one that i wish could have worked out, at least for longer then a 7-8 days. dreams dont usually come true though, especially for me. ive concluded the world hates me. or if theres a god, then ive pissed him off something chronic. either way, i have no luck, in love and in life.

this is me, deal with it. if you dont like it, get the fuck out of my blog. if you do like it, or are just interested in what will happen next, keep looking. maybe one day things will start looking up.

D