ive come to realise why i cry at night recently. my pillow smells like her. after on day of watching movies in my room, her sweet aroma has embeded itself into one of my pillows, the one i sleep on infact. fan-fuckin-tastic. just my luck that even in my only escape, sleep, i am reminded of her, and how much i miss her. oh great, now, just as im writing this blog, her faverouite song came on. fuck the verve.
people say it will get easier. but right now i have no evidence. its getting worse. you may see me and think im getting better, but im just getting good at hiding pain. my face is a closed door to how i really feel, no one can see in, and nothing finds its way out. it hurts me to see her happy sometimes. i dont want her to be sad, or to feel guilty, but it would be nice to know that she actually cared. even if i was told by someone else, someone close to her.
today was another shocker. starting with business studies. the class itself isnt all that bad, but im in no mood for school. if i didnt have an assignment due in today, i would have stayed home.
double music today, fuckin bludge and depressing. two hours of listening to my ipod, skipping the songs that remind me of her. there were to many.
im told shes read my blogs, but she denies it. im convinced shes lying to me, i told her there was a picture on here, she looked at it. am i realy supposed to believe she ignored what ive written?
looks like ive done another depressing blog to end another depressing day. maybe something good will happen to me later on tonight, make me feel better. highly doubt that
D
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment